How to support your child’s dream without taking the joy out of the game
Wraparound Family,
This one is for the parents.
How do you nurture your child’s dream of being a hockey player?
Every kid wants it. Every parent wants it for their kid. And the truth is, only a few will ever make it to the highest levels.
That is okay.
The fact that only a few make it does not mean it is impossible. It means it is hard. And the fact that some do make it means it is possible.
So how do you give your child the best chance?
First, scream as loud as you can from the stands every time your kid touches the puck or makes a mistake.
Just kidding. Dad joke.
Here is the real first rule.
Keep your mouth shut in the stands.
Let your kid play. Yelling instructions or criticism from the parent section creates anxiety. Anxiety turns into pressure. Pressure turns into resentment. And before you know it, your kid starts to hate hockey.
If that sounds familiar, save it for the drive home. Or better yet, save it for dinner later that night and ask them how the game went.
Your job is to listen. Your job is to encourage.
The number one trait shared by almost everyone who makes it is not size, speed, or skill.
It is belief.
Belief that they belong. Belief that they can improve. Belief that they have a chance.
And you, as a parent, play a massive role in shaping that belief.
Tell them you believe in them. Tell them you are proud of them. Be their biggest fan. Be careful with criticism. Pick your moments wisely.
Here is the thing most parents forget. Your child already knows when they messed up. Their coach told them. Their teammates felt it. They do not need another voice piling on.
They need you in their corner.
My dad never yelled at me from the stands. He let me play. He let me fail. He let me figure things out. And because of that, I played free. I played loose. I played with joy.
I was not playing to please him. I was playing because I loved the game and I loved my team.
That is the greatest gift a parent can give a hockey player.
Create an environment where the game stays fun. Where effort is praised. Where mistakes are part of the journey.
Because at the end of the day, it is just a game.
A great game. A beautiful game.
But still a game.
So let them play.
Bobby Robins, savage motivator, ex hockey pro, writer for Wraparound
P.S. I've written a bunch of articles for Wraparound, sharing all the wisdom I've gained from chasing the hockey dream from mites all the way to the NHL with the Boston Bruins. Maybe there's something there for you.